These 10 questions originally came from a French series, "Bouillon de Culture" hosted by Bernard Pivot.
They're better known as the questions that James Lipton asks every guest at the end of "Inside the Actor's Studio" show.
Today, author JB Lynn has asked them of her character Godzilla (aka God) a talking anole lizard with a big attitude.
JB: What is your favorite word?
God: You’re right.
JB: That’s two words.
God: Ooooh, I didn’t know the moronic biped could count that high.
JB: If that’s how you’re going to be… What is your least favorite word?
God: Freeze-dried. As in, I hate freeze-dried crickets.
JB: Like you haven’t told me that a thousand times before.
God: But that first time, you brought me freeze-dried crickets after I TOLD you I needed the live ones.
JB: What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? And I swear, this interview is over if you say crickets.
God: Wheel of Fortune
JB: You suck at Wheel of Fortune.
God: Everyone’s a critic. Being right turns me on.
JB: Now THAT I believe.
God: Oh, and planning how to kill people. That turns me on too.
JB: What turns you off?
God: Moronic bipeds. Dogs with horrible grammar. Hitmen who feed the dog and not me.
JB: What is your favorite curse word?
God: I don’t curse.
JB: Yes, you do.
God: No. I most certainly do not.
JB: (sighs heavily) What sound or noise do you love?
God: The theme music to Wheel of Fortune.
JB: I figured you were going to say the sound of your own voice.
God: I’m not going to even bother to respond to that.
JB: What sound or noise do you hate?
God: Your incessant prattling.
JB: What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
God: I have a profession?
JB: You’re a pet.
God: I am not.
JB: Your housed, fed, and entertained by me. What else would you call it?
God: Brilliance.
JB: (sighs heavily again) What profession would you not like to do?
God: Dog groomer. Dog walker. Veterinarian. Any job that would bring me into contact with those four-legged, grammatically-challenged beasts.
JB: Yeah, right. Like I don’t know you’ve got a soft spot for Doomsday.
God: Blasphemy!
JB: If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
God: That’s a conundrum wrapped in an enigma.
JB: Which means?
God: You figure it out.
To learn more about God, or author JB Lynn, please visit: www.jblynn.com
For links to purchase their books, please visit: http://www.harpercollins.com/authors/38895/JB_Lynn/index.aspx
The views, beliefs, and opinions expressed by guest post authors are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views, beliefs, or opinions of Girl Who Reads.
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I'd own a lizard if it were like God.
ReplyDeleteLOL, Kate.
ReplyDeleteThanks for having us, Donna. Doomsday is a bit miffed she wasn't invited, but don't worry, she's not the type to hold a grudge. ;-)
Great interview. God's a hoot.
ReplyDelete